The TBD Retrospective: Conclusion


On the last week of May, I was notified I would be jobless for the summer.  I was shocked.  My vision of June and July became cloudy, like the thick San Francisco fog.  There were many questions flooding my head as I fell asleep that night.  However, when I woke up the next morning, I had a change of heart: my situation was not a negative, but a blessing.  I saw time for rest, recovery and personal projects.

On June 1st, I began The TBD (To Be Determined) Retrospective and an eight-week journey of reflection.  I hoped for an epiphany or two, but mostly I wanted to remain productive and not lazy.  And, as my summer unfolded, I did just that: stayed productive.  I wrote for this blog, helped out my church group, and even began writing a bookI read, rested, reflected, and put time to diet and exercise.  I went around San Francisco attending city council meetings and professional development workshops on early childhood.  Besides my bouts with insomnia and the lack of income, I improved professionally, grew spiritually, and enhanced my early childhood knowledge.

(And there was a life-changing moment. But more on that in future posts.)

The last two months have been successful.  It’s now August and The TBD Retrospective is over.  And, after all that I experienced this summer, I did reach an epiphany:

My time as a preschool teacher is done.


Yeh, probably not what you were expecting but hear me out.

I take personal responsibility to get better at my practice (especially when that practice helps others).  With the feedback and the support of others, I felt I reached a point in my career that it was time to be a leader and sought out leadership positions.

I’m probably one of the few people that can say they’ve been promoted while unemployed, but that is what happened to me.  I’m now a Center Supervisor and I’m leading the same school I’ve taught at the past four years.  I’m very excited to take on the new position and looking forward to the new school year.

So, in the end, everything turned out for the best and my story has a happy ending.  The two months were a success.  Yay!

… Haha.  No.  Omigosh, no, hold on.

I may have ended up with a new position, but that’s not the ending.  In fact, all those questions swirling in my head in June, yeh, some are still there.  With so many unanswered questions – along with that life-changing moment – my journey’s path is still fluid and undiscovered.  I’m still walking through the thick San Francisco fog.

But that leads me to the biggest epiphany I had this summer:

“Fear nothing but to waste the present moment; if you take care of the moments, the moments take care of your life.” – Mark Sanborn

More than anything this summer, I feared wasting time.  I didn’t want to look back at June and July and be disappointed with what I did or didn’t do.  Now that the summer is over, I still carry that fear; the fear of wasting the present moment.  That’s The TBD Retrospective; that’s my epiphany.

I look into the fog, not knowing what’s on the other side.  I fear what’s beyond the fog but I fear standing still more.  I close my eyes, take a breath, open my eyes and walk into the gray.

I’m looking forward to sharing more student stories, activities and everyday happenings.  Peace.


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