Doors and Windows

Since the end of May, I’ve taken a well-earned siesta.  Graduate school is out for the summer.  My preschool is out for the summer.  I’m spending time with my wife and son.  I’m cooking meals, baking, reading and running.  I feel like I’m getting balance back in my life.

At this time last year, I was in a much different situation.  Last May, I found out I would not be working over the summer.  The notion of unemployment was hard to fathom, but everything worked out.  When school started back up in August, I was promoted to center supervisor of my school.

However, where unemployment was doable last summer, it is not this summer.  I have a family and I’m the only person that can work. Steady income is necessary and applying for jobs became my part time job.  And, at the end this May, my work was paying off.  I had interviews lined up, both on the phone and in person.  A couple of the prospects looked very promising.  When June began, I felt that I would have a job within a week.  I was in a good situation.

So you can imagine my shock and dismay when all of those options bombed.  Within seven days, I learned the result of every one of those interviews and positions:

“… the position won’t be available til August…”

“…you don’t have infant/toddler experience…”

“…there aren’t any positions now, but could you remain unemployed a couple of months and then comeback?…”

Your mind turns to mush and you’re in a state of shock.  I’m unemployed again.  There are no more interviews.  There are no more phone calls.  There are no more applications.  All of those options, poof, into thin air.  What happened?

Moral of the Story: Doors will close.  Windows will open.  Don’t get caught staring at the door.

It would be easy to go into panic mode, asking yourself questions about why you didn’t get something or what you could have done differently. Your mind produces more questions than you can answer.  You sit there, staring at nothing, lost in your mind as time passes and your body remains motionless.

When I found out I didn’t get any of the positions, I had those feelings, those questions, those thoughts… for like a second.  Less than a second.  A nanosecond.  It was fast.  In fact, when the person on the phone told me the result of my interview, I turned to my wife and shared the bad news as easily as someone would share news of their goldfish passing away.

You can think about what you could have done better.  You can think about the what if’s and arrive at an answer.  You can spend all the time in the world until you come to a conclusion that you’re satisfied with.

I didn’t have my coffee so they didn’t get to see my best side.

I forgot my portfolio.  Surely if they had seen that then I would have gotten the job.

Well, obviously they didn’t see how amazing I was.  That’s on them.  Their loss! 

All of those may answer your questions after the maelstrom of thoughts and feelings ricocheting in your noggin.  They may help you feel better.  But it doesn’t change anything.  So, when the person on the phone told me the devastating news that I didn’t get the position, I thought this:

I gave my best and didn’t get it.  I accept it.  I need to keep looking.

That was it.  My blip. My nanosecond.  The fleeting thought between the phone and turning to inform my wife.  Getting lost in thought was not going to make my situation better.  Answering those questions so I feel better won’t put food on the table.  Stop staring at the door and start jumping for the windows.  If you stop thinking about what you could have done differently or what you feel you deserve and start moving, you may actually get it.

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2 thoughts on “Doors and Windows

  1. I hope you do find something very soon! I do know that feeling. As a nanny, my jobs don’t always last a long time, and then I am scrambling to find a new position. As I age, this is getting harder and harder. I do get interviews, but I also see and hear the doubt in their eyes as they ask such things as, “you sure you have the energy to keep up?”, or my all time favorite, “are you strong enough to get the baby into the crib?” I”m only 56 and very able, but I must look feeble! Good luck to you young man, I hope things turn around quickly.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words. I’m already sending out a second round of applications and getting new interviews lined up. Still moving forward 🙂

      Like

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